Tuesday, July 13, 2004

The Flight's Beginnings Part 1

Did you ever get the suspicion that your life has taken on a certain soap opera quality? Okay so I haven’t just discovered that my husband was actually my long lost twin or anything freakish like that, but for a girl who thought her life was somewhat normal, the truth is creeping in – Okay well I never really believed that my life was normal. I just wanted other people to think it was. And hey, if I can convince people that I had a happy childhood or a great marriage, then really I should be President of the United States of America, or at least work for him (or someday her?) [isn’t that what politicians and their trusty sidekicks do – take the bad and twist it so "hey everything looks great doesn’t it?"]. I am great at giving the impression that things are a lot rosier than the darkness and despair (read: bad dad and bad sex {don’t combine the two, people!}) that truly lingers (oh c’mon it wasn’t that bad). Read on.

Tomorrow is my 25th birthday. I’m sure I won’t feel different, does anyone ever? I am hoping to be proposed to tomorrow, and the funny thing is – I am still married and feeling a little like J-Lo or more appropriately her other half oh I can never remember his name – he always reminds me of a rat for some reason – he is so skinny and little. I just don’t get that he has sex appeal, he certainly doesn't appeal to me. Anyway he had to wait for his divorce to be final before he could get married again – he even hurried it up by traipsing down to some Caribbean courthouse, and here I am the conservative Baptist who doesn’t believe that divorce is right (but wait there’s more!) tapping her watch in anticipation of an approaching end of marriage decree from some judge who must get a little burned out ending so many marriages. Or maybe you don’t get burned out, maybe the knowledge that you are ending someone’s misery is satisfying. I can’t decide.

I am convinced that if I were the/a divorce-signing judge I would have the hardest time not turning into the GOSSIP QUEEN of the UNIVERSE. Take that scandal with Jeri Ryan and her senator wannabe husband (why can’t I remember men’s names today?. I'm sitting there in my mahogany clad office reading reports of a scumball dragging his wife to odd sex clubs and wanting public intercourse and all that, how could I keep it quiet? Sealed, my ass. I’d be taking it down to Access Hollywood. Reason #1 that Roxy is not a judge (maybe I will explore that later because I am certainly judgmental, so you’d think that there might be a few reasons why I should become a judge (or is that just stupid? No need, I already know)).

Not everyday will be like today.
- Crazy/Hip Blog-Mamas +