What I Almost Did

Cut off the entirety of my bad finger nail with a rusty X-acto knife using my left hand.

After staring at the blade for a moment, I realized that it, combined with the fact that my left hand is incapable of doing anything, would only lead to more damage on my poor finger than the dreadful fungus has already wrought. No, I can't believe that I haven't called the doctor about it yet either. (Never get a manicure from a strip mall. Never!)